Embrace the Random 3.01 End

Formally the event is over.

But the organizers announced that the Pig and Whistle and a few select bars were inviting the pantsless to show up - sans pants and take an afternoon respite.

A dispersal of the us walked down the boulevard. I noted that for some of the female pantless they tailored the outfits so it could pass a nighttime club wear.

After a quick tip and a photo op with a slightly overly enthusiastic Elvis impersonator we slowly headed down to the Pig and Whistle.

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Hollywood and Highland - Highland seems to be an extension of the 101 freeway. A torrent of cars, trucks and SUV’s seem to push down like waterfall right in the middle of the most crowded part of the tourist trap.

A small contingent of the pantsless was on the corner - a tourist passing by asked why? why? - what was the point?

A 19 year old pantsless women, brunette, attractively sender, longish nose and a very cute bottom explained it all. - “I just woke up - I saw the sunrise and .... felt it was right.” - her face reflected the nature of her cosmic empathy.

“And that psychic realization” I piped in “Was reflected in the universe itself - its spread to all of us. You're a person who has revelations that, ..called to us”

She’s a trend setter!

The panted woman walked away. Head slightly shaking.

Later someone said if this was to raise awareness about “Ass Cancer”

Ummm - yaaa ---- Ass Cancer! - Sounds like a early 80’s punk band.

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“You seem to be good at this” my companion said.

“What do you mean?”

“Talking with strangers. Your a natural.”

I shrug “Normally - I am not this way. I dunno - I just seem to get this.”

We hike to the Pig and Whistle - a large contingent of the Pantsless are here. She buys me a beer. We grab a table in the rear.









My social butterfly skills - now working with a sit-down and a beer - are now on overdrive. I get up and start interacting with the various sub-groups. I compliment a guy in a suit for the guts he has running for mayor in his baby blue underwear, I chase away a clumsily drunk tourist from a pantsless woman. I warn some other women not to pay any attention to men with pants - “They could be hiding something or they could lie about - ummm their ... gifts” I say with a sly sarcastic smile. “At least a guy without pants has the guts to be honest.”

The energy level on my end seems to be holding up.

----------------------------------------------------

After a bit I make a check in call in the bathroom “Yes - it went fine - I will be home. I need a break and a snack - I got pics”

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After a bit the scene dissipated. A few people departed and then more left. The sunset and food trucks pulled up on the boulevard, and the pantsless people slowly dispersed.





I was finishing up a conversation with a married nerd girl from the West Valley about significant others and pantless Hollywood romps when my companion stood up and said to me - in a tone of realization ----

“ I am going to talk with strangers - over there” - nodding to the remaining pantsless people.

I smirked - “Go for it.”

I then realize that I have been hogging up the pictures - after a while I jump up and walk over with camera in hand. I see her making fearless small talk with a group of four youngish men.

Enthusiastically I break out my camera and in my best 70’s porn voice I said -

“OK - guys - let’s get around this woman - closer! That’s it!”

I loved the purity of the smile she had.

I need to use that voice more often.

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A trip home on the metro - we find her car after a bit and then with a hug, she drops me off at home. It's still early, a nap then I will be out again.

Life changing event? - Nope. I am too guarded for life changing events now, they tend to be too messy, but I know they are inevitable.

No - this was something even better - a life affirming event that I only need to do once.

With a pout La wants to have done it.

I promise La that next year - I will do some stay at home baby-sitting and give her the digital camera, and paired up with a male companion - tell her “don’t forget to take lots of pictures” during Pantsless Subway Sunday.

Embrace the Random 2.99

The Mann's Chinese Theater is located in the larger Hollywood and Highland complex.




Hollywood and Highland is the center-point for the touristic trap called **HOLLYWOOD BLVD**. I actually think its current evolution is a good one, after trying to make it into a family friendly mall it's become a “melange” of nightclubs, bars, tattoo shops and souvenir shops. Tacky craptastic. I avoid it if I can.

The organizers were pulling some logistical work - we the pantsless were in a holding pattern in a subway station just below a converted outdoor mall. The mall was a bust - it was sold and then chunks of it were converted to nightclubs or tourist souvenir traps. It surrounds a restored Mann’s Chinese theater.

Wanna be's and never beens show up dressed up as iconic pop culture characters and charge tourists to take pictures with them. On any given day Superman, Zorro, Chewbacca, Wonder Woman and Marilyn Monroe pout and pose for a few dollar tips. An economic model based on stripping.

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The crowd made its way to the Chinese Theater. The normal carnival of camera wielding tourists, mock celebrities, musicians and barflies, teenagers hanging out and Latin families out to view some sights is temporarily usurped by hundreds of pantless people emerging in the midday sun. The air is collectively taken out of the place as its normal rhythm, already carnival, is moved up a tick.

A small bit of the Merry Pranksters is in the air. A couple tall African Americans become pantless converts and start chanting “No Pants, No Pants!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWBxX0fnrR0

(note .18)

NOT SAFE FOR WORK!


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In an unforgettable scene everyone taking pictures of the mock heroes turn and take pictures of us, and the mock heroes themselves break out their own camera and start taking pics as well.


It's as if something so strange ran parallel to a runway during a fashion show and the models on it took out cell cameras and started to take pics.


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A group shot is taken - a smallish woman with a strange hat asked to sit on a tall guy's shoulders. She is hoisted and the group picture is taken. She dismounts. Then she extends her hand to the guy on whose shoulders she had just spent a few moments.

“Thanks - my name is ..”

Someone right next to them noted the situation - “That's the way to do it! Mount up, dismount and then introduce yourself!”

She is unfazed, the smile on her face and the glint in her eye are genuine.



I continue to press for photos.

Embrace the Random 2.97

The end came quickly - the Hollywood and Highland stop was the exit.

We got out of the station. The pantsless crowd! - It must have been in the hundreds at least. Although it was heavy on the white person side, every bit of the beautiful So-Cal ethnic mix has someone of both genders representing.




Its 70 degrees, and the winter LA air is clear this afternoon.

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The No Pants event in New York, from the YouTube vids show the differences between laid back LA and the mighty NYC very clearly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W4kYxew_I4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTKGKUQrb0s

Los Angeles is the femme counterpoint to New York’s avuncular, and mostly butch energy. They have a lot more interactive fun, and as a human you feel more alive.

In LA we have the cult of looks, in part due to the pervasive influence of our media industries. In LA the art of being wanted gives you a pass - you do not have to work for a better orgasm, the one wanting you does. The pleasure and power is in having others make you the object of veneration. Appearing to expend the energy to be wanted negates desire on the others persons part - it makes one look desperate. The trick is to presume that one belongs in the selected company of those who make a very good living off of the adoration of others without seeming too exclusive or too needy.

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In most written dialogues about our fair city people often bemoan this difference. They are usually written by people who never, ever depart Venice Beach when trying to define L.A. They never head out to community's East of the LA river, to the Latin working class, learn the lingo and see how LA defuses that physical energy.

The writers are acclimated to the L.A. laid back "service me mindset" even as their word processors decry it.

Here is a transparent secret about LA’s laid back narcissistic cultural energy - if you are in a circle of self absorption - and happen to be accepted as a peer and amongst people who are - in general - pretty good looking or possess a charismatic persona that is a complementary counterpoint to the nice looking people vibe then you begin to feel and interact in a defuse yet seductive voodoo.


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The crowd is large. The amount of people who decide on some random Sunday to take off their pants, reveal their skivvies to the world and ride a subway is more than you think. With the men, there'd be no disguising what nature had endowed them with in its latent state! Properly packaged, of course. For the women, cellulite be damned! Whatever you got, you are gonna flaunt - to a lot of people!




The kinky haired ringleader - resplendent in his red tighties and positioned on top of the shoulders shouts out unamplified thanks for the turnout - it exceeded far beyond their expectations. From that point we were supposed to go in front of the Mann's Chinese Movie Theater and then take a collective picture. However, fate had other plans.

Good plans.

The train we took was not the widely advertised 222 - it was an earlier train that came close to the scheduled time. There was a possibility that pantsless people who do not know we left on an earlier train was on the 222.

The organizers moved up and urged us to applaud the people exiting the subway, just to laud the bravery of any stragglers. I did not see any. It made the scene even more cool, in a slightly absurd way.

Imagine you are trying to get to your destination and as you depart the subway cab a few hundred bright, pantsless people in various modes of top dress are enthusiastically applauding you and everyone else as you exited the subway on your weekend commute.

Take a bow metro riders!




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Remembering my prime directive I pull out my camera. And turn to read the faces of the people nearby. A camera man is taking pictures and everywhere mini cams, digital cameras and camera phones are clicking at a furious rate. Model type poses are not uncommon.


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I am in the subway station and I feel an odd sort of.... lightness. The people on average are attractive, youngish (quite a few 30 somethings) and pantless.


I decide to just kinda...... embrace it.


My finely honed barfly instincts turn on - I turn to a cute redheaded woman in leopard shorts.

“What a coincidence, your pantless, I’m pantless - Can I take a pic with you?”

A smile shows up on her face “Sure”

A side hug, she moves in closer then most random stranger pictures. Comfort zones are slightly lessened when publicly pantless.

I give the camera to my companion - reviewing the pic, its looks good actually. I decide to have both of us in random pics with any random stranger I can charm into doing so.




In asking random strangers for pictures I get into a jocular mindset, a Gemini need to charm anyone of any gender into taking photos that are not contextual to either me or my companion.



"Can you stand next to this woman? - Thanks"

Embrace the Random 2

The organizers did not count on the razor sharp timekeeping that Metro keeps.

A train showed up - but it was not the 222. We jumped on and then jumped off. I noticed how we followed anyone who looked like they had a clue. We were newbies on the pants less thing.

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The regular subway riders seemed - bemused. In Los Angeles weekend subway riders are people who have to use mass transpiration to get from A to B. They are for the most part working class or the elderly.

A subway comes in - the crowd makes it choice and jumps on.

As soon as get on three Metro employees, two African American and one Latina are deeply amused and inquire about the point of a purely pointless exercise.

“Are you protesting increased tuition fees?”

The question took us aback but we did not show it - both of us are in our early 40’s.

“No, not really”

I begin to think that I needed a better response. The out of context “put on” was detached from any moral meaning. And I look over the person who got me into this - she has a shirt partially covering her underwear. In the context of people much younger, she more then holds her own.

Mindful of the picture taking I ask the woman to take a picture of the two of us. She exposes a set of braces and with a slight smile she takes a couple pictures.

Me and my companion look around - the next stop brings more riders who are pant-less.

She peers around and asks me how many stops are there left? A few - the next two will bring in more pantsless people and then four or five stops till we get to Hollywood and Highland.

She nods over to the exit door - “I want to check out the next cab”






We bolt out of the door at the stop then run over to the next cab. It has the feeling of a mad rush trying to time the door opening and closing. We jump from on to the next car.

Getting in just in time we dive to the next car - diving to hold onto the metal pole before the subway starts. I dive forward and she breaks away from the metal pole - not the thing to do. I grab it and then the subway lurches forward. The forward momentum caused us to get off balance. I clumsily brace her upright.

“That last cab was kinda - dead” - he said.

A women is to the left of us. She is wearing a pair of aqua sweats. Without any affect she takes them off.

“Did we get a convert?”

She turns around - no her friend was supposed to do this with her but did not make it. Conformable - she did the deed.

I look around. It feels kinda - normal. You acclimate to a mass strangeness quite quickly.



A few of the men who are not the slender build side (bears) are wearing things like Incredible Hulk tightys, I Love Sluts t-shirts or near Speedos with hefty bulges and hairy exposed body parts - but even those kind of guys are not being obnoxious about their physical presence. They are not leering or generating creepy vibes toward the women. Its as if a consultant advised what look would give a look that implied offensive, earthy passion - and yet it seems to be all show for the most part. Or maybe the look makes the nature of the guy self evident and takes away the element of surprise. The youth helps make the lines grayer.


The adjustment to this new reality was quick.






I do admit some of the sites in my field of vision was inspiring feelings that were not on the pure side. In a way by putting the "male oppresses female via visual objectification" on the table - neutered it to some degree, the unspoken desire to provoke helped in that regard.

Within the pantsless subway context at least.

Embrace the Random 1

Embrace the Random

“I got permission to do anything I want - but I have to take pictures”

We walk to the Red Line Metro, it seems like any day at the metro. We have problems getting a round trip ticket - the kiosk would not read the 5 dollar bill, a new kiosk and we are set with her pass.

Its apparent to me she have never done this Metro before. The ticket does not work like my proxy pass - the metro has no way to read it, you just keep it on your person. When a cop checks you, you need to have it on your person.

We debated walking to the subway pants-less or taking it off on the subway itself.

Nerves start building up - my system gets a bit more energy. Feeling replaced thinking. The only way I can do this is think is to think of myself as an escort, a protector - someone who will be a buffer between any possible nasty strangeness. That will take my mind off of me and onto something external.

What’s the right metaphor?

“I know the Metro pretty well. - I know the stops. Exit points.”

_ I make an offer - “Consider me your Squire”

We walk down the first set of stairs.

“Squire - I like that”

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One more set of stairs separate us from the subway onramp.

“Do you see anyone?”

A small rush of three guys, passes by. They are here to play. A tall, thinnish guy wearing a tight t-shirt and briefs walks down.

“Do you see any women?”

I scan around and shrug

“ I don’t want to be the only woman”

“Do you want me to check”

“Yes please”

Still wearing shorts I bound down onto the last set of stairs. I see it.

A rear, the unmistakable form and shape of a woman’s panties clung around a shapely, young white butt was in my sights. Deeply energized, I hurled myself back to the staging area.


I nod. The unspoken intonation was you are not alone. I nod my head to a large concrete support that blocks the view. Strange how the act of undressing is such a private matter that we instinctively go to any cover we can get.


At the same time three kids are, at the same spot are pants shedding - two of them are women. My companion strikes up a conservation.

“I was worried I would be the only woman”

“You haven't done this before?”

“No”

“Don’t worry”

As my hand goes to my belt I unbuckle. I get a voice inside of my head - its the same voice parents belt out to you when you, as a child cross lines you did not even know existed. Like taking off your pants in public. The internalized voice makes itself known, then you must push it aside.

In my black underwear, black socks, black trim sneakers, Black Tiki Ti T shirt and black Hawaiian shirt.


“OK - we are supposed to act like everything is normal”

We walk briskly into the subway depot. Its not normal - The clicking of digital gadgetry fills the air. A 2 second shot of my companion walking into the station is on a YouTube vid right now.

I awkwardly try to make small talk. The kids are in force. There seem to be two contingents, one late teens and early 20 somethings. Others are in there early 30’s. A few of the men who are sans pants are about my age and are dressed in suites.

Camera’s click incessantly. its a 50, 50 gender split so far. The women seem to be poised and a few seem playful.

I feel - strange. Not uncomfortable, I take in the scene.

Into the Rabbit Hole

Its started as a digital fragment, a sliver in the maelstrom of info-educa-work-a-tain-ment. The rabbit hole was 11 words long.

The new social networking king, the vacuum of eyes and time took the crown simply because - every f-ing person you have or ever will know is on the damn thing.

The net effect is a party line out of control. People who spilled there guts and heart on blogs on the MySpace, now do one liners on a digital ticker tape. Its all good.

Slogging though my work-stream a glance at the live feed catches my eye.


Toying with no-pants subway Sunday. Trying to work up the nerve. Dare me.

I sorta know the woman who put this out. The normal blitz of responses follow.

"Subways don't wear pants!"

"Nope! I care about you too much, ;)"

"One of my roommates did that once and had a blast! People get so freaked out"

"I'm not wearing pants now. Ok, I am."

She chimed in - "I love you guys! Who's in? Boc-boc-boc -- chicken?"

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I wonder - what the hell is no pants Subway Sunday? A browser tab opens up and in next break I run a quick search that yields a YouTube vid. A quick silent run showed snowbound, snow clad kids (my term for anyone 20 years younger than me) taking off their pants - boys and girls casually riding the subway in skivvies. Mini cameras are catching the reactions as they enter and exit the Subway.

My quick-vid trained senses grasp the nature of this - a quick search yields a mass Improv group - with missions and compilations of a kind of public theater that was notable in the consciousness revolution. But without the moral edge. It seemed - restrained in a way. The crayons colored it within the lines. - Something about it was - cleanly fuzzy.

A few seconds of distracted judgment later I decide to chime in..

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Ken - In LA with 70 something degree weather and longish shorts it may kinda go unnoticed

Ken - If you go pant less - I will go pant less

I thought nothing of this - in the back of my mind it was just…another musing, a psychic utterance that leads to delayed plans and different directions for a weekend.


==========================================================

The weekend starts and a the inbox gets a message.

"I'm doing it! Don't worry if you decide not to"

This gets my masculine nature raised - rarely does it wake up. In fact the context of this is so out of context I was kinda, impaired.

It's as if someone asked you to serve pizza at a transgender lingerie show. Chances are - in this lifetime - you will never be asked.

"But if you're game, check this stuff out preliminarily and get back to me today."

I respond - with a trace of thought - hey - this was actually going to happen.

"Hmmm... called me out huh."

"I gots some baggy boxers - text me if you have crossed the Rubicon - The answer is if you go - I go "

I dismissed any chance that this is going to actually happen- it was a form of denial. I shrugged internally.

The response came later that day. Its was a discussion on the logistics of pantslessness. what station (Union) pants off at the train or at the platform leading down to it. etc....

"2 p.m. Union Station - good to go"

“10-4”

In the forefront of my mind - something would "come up". A last minute detraction, family obligations – something, and if not then - I had a blank in the place of what I would feel next.


Status Update “My braggadocio was called out - do I say yes?”

Response from an old high school friend, female - “Yes! YES!! YESSSSSS!!!!!!!”

“you would suggest that course of action”

“And u know me so well.”

“OK……………………………………………..”

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Earlier that evening - I explain the situation to La.

“Should I go?” - Raising herself up from a chair she looked a bit pouty.

“This may still not happen - besides it won’t be long, just a subway ride and a group photo. And every single camera will beam this all over. I have mixed feelings about that.”

“Fine - do whatever you want (! –she meant it) but make sure to take pictures.”

Later on the day of the event nieces would be over for a bit - baby-sitting duties would take up a little of the afternoon time for La.

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Sunday Morning – we had spent yesterday afternoon playing Rock Band (Beatles, Regular) with my brother family, beer, pizza – a nice wholesome time.

Today would be different. I woke up early, a feeling of a slow, muted dread slowly dawned on me. I looked over my undergarment. It was actually a super boxer, gray colored and so baggy that it goes down to my knees. I knew this was not the kind of action that was on the youtube vids. But no way in hell was I going tighty whitey . And my boxers would be good but daring due to the access sliver.

I get my Hawaiian shirts in the wash. At the same time I chanted to keep my nerves at bay – two hours!

Putting my wash to the dryer I noticed the clothes had not been taken out. I pull out the darks and I drop the pile on the bed. By happenstance a pair of underpants was on top, it was Haynes cotton black I got about two years ago, meant to look like a Speedo. The cut was formfitting and just above my thigh, the color was black.

It spoke to me in a way that un nerved me – I knew, knew this was it. The form would fit tight but the color would visually “smooth out” any minor protruding elements. My thighs looked nice if I do say so myself.

Black would be the color that would hide my middle aged slightly protruding gut. A black Tiki Ti shirt, black Hawaiian over shirt rounded out the overall look.

Status Update - “Today will be ....interesting”

Response - “If by "interesting" you mean KICK-ASS.”

“yougotit”

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I grab the world’s ugliest tote bag. I felt like Batman packing his utility belt.

Extra underpants, shirt, a pair of Dockers, mini first aid kit, 2 mini candy bars, napkins, a book, a newspaper, a fully charged digital camera, my old cell phone, printed instructions with the train schedule.

You Boy Scout said La.


Status Update “Lock and loaded ...”

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In my four year old Levi cargo shorts I head out, it’s a sunny 70 something Los Angeles winter day. I pullout my metro card – it’s a small proxy card that has a chip in it. It’s changeable at places that offer MTA card charging. I keep it for days I go to the Tiki Ti, or some place that is Metro accessible and offers drinks.

5 bucks – I jump on the #4 headed to Union Station, not believing any of this.

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Union Station. I get to it early – I take a small walk near the bridge – moving my mind away from what was going to happen.

Union station was the last major train station built in the US before the advent of the Freeway system. It’s a worn art deco building that connects Amtrack to Metro, the local subway/bus system.

Still thinking that she will not be here, and I get to bug out, I receive a text; “I’m Here! Shall I get you a round trip ticket”

Game on.

K - “Got one I am walking in”



I walk to the bus terminal - there she is.

There is something called a BIG SMILE. Its a smile that seems to be implanted. And she has it.

The academic phrase is transgressive. It means mindfully crossing social norms.

"Ken!"

"I have been looking at the people around, seeing who's going to do this"

I stare into the background - with a new set of eyes, in the back a few white kids are on bikes, are they?...

Practical matters grip me - we do have some time. We take a bathroom break. Afterward I ask for a pre no pants photo - so we can see what we looked like before the public viewing began.